Meat Reports
by oldscudder1
Summary: Scene where Freddie finds away to ask out Sam.  One Shot


Freddie POV

She's here again, she doesn't know I know, but I can smell her lavender scented body spray. Why she hides is beyond me. Carly told me that Sam likes me, in a certain way, but Sam is Sam and while Carly tried to tell her I feel the same, she just can't let herself believe anyone can feel for her that way especially when she is jealous of Carly in these matters. She has been hurt before.

She won't come out and talk to me and I guess I am quite shy about this too and while I have tried to let her know, something always 'conveniently' comes up that keeps me from spilling. I hope this plot works out. I know she won't be able to resist snooping on my computer, so let's just see what happens.

I have the studio all set up to capture her on film and audio. Is that a mistake? What if it all goes horribly wrong? Snap out of it, you know better. This will work.

Sam POV

I am sitting just out of sight and Freddie has no idea I am here. I have been sneaking in here and hiding from him while he works for quite a while now. At first I really didn't know why, now I know it is because I really like him and I like to watch him, but I just cannot let myself tell him so. Carly knows of course, which likely means he does too. While we have had a couple of times when we almost came to it, 'conveniently' something always came up to ruin the moment.

"hamiam" I hear him say as he types in his computer password. That's his password, how weird is that? What on earth could that be a reference to? He really doesn't like ham that much...oh well.

I just gotta see what he has stashed on that computer of his. Light Bulb! I pull out my cell phone and text Freddie asking him to meet me at the Groovy Smoothie. That would give me some time alone with his lap top. His phone buzzes and as he looks at the text, I see a goofy grin take shape on his face. If it weren't him, I would swear he is excited or that a plan was coming together.

I see him ctrl-alt-delete and click the lock tab and he gets up and almost runs out the door of the iCarly studio.

Quickly I run over to his computer and type in the password I have just heard him utter and wa-la I'm in.

Let's see, I have about 20 minutes, better get looking. I scan his files looking for something like "Love Carly" or some other mush he would name something for the love of his life. Why would I care about anything like that? Oh who am I kidding…I know it is because I don't want to find anything professing his undying love for her. Hmmm, I see nothing with Carly in the titles, but here is an interesting sounding folder name. "Meat Reports". I love meat, let's just see what the Nub has in here.

Opening the folder there are four documents. '1. Meatballs', '2. Bacon Bit's', '3. Fried Chicken', and '4. Hammmmmm'.

They are numbered so I open 'Meatballs' first. I almost fall off the stool at what I see written.

"SHE KISSED ME! the words animated with fireworks.

"My first kiss and although it is Sam, I really liked it. Tasted like meatballs and now I can't stop thinking about meatballs and those lips; those soft supple lips. I want them again." "I wonder what she thinks?"

Meatballs update: "It has now been several months later and I can still taste those meatballs and feel those lips; I would like to taste and feel these again, but how do I get her to kiss me again?" "I still wonder if she thinks about it. She has never said anything except when Carly found out and confronted us. But never has she said anything about how she felt about it. Maybe some day?

I smile and start to blush and look to see if anyone can see me. No one here. "Wow, he too still thinks about it. Yes Fredwardo, I liked it a lot and think about our kiss quite often and I want to do it again. I should make up some meatballs for after our rehearsal and…"

Freddie/Carly POV

"Shhhh. Carly would you stop squealing, I heard her too you know. She hasn't even gotten past the first 'meat report'."

May be I shouldn't have set the studio to record all this and definitely should not have let Carly in on it and agreed to let her watch on her computer downstairs.

"Now let's just let Sam continue please"

"Okay" she says while rolling her eyes. "but this is just so awesome, your plan is coming together".

"Yeah, well, I spent a lot of time coming up with it. I really hope it works out all right. Either she is impressed, or I am dead or at the very least severely injured."

SAM POV

Well number one was interesting and eye opening, let's see what Bacon Bits has in it. I wonder though if I should. I feel a bit guilty, but I just have to know what is on his mind.

"I am over Carly. The bacon I was has crumbled to bits. I should have known, but I had chased and been hopeful for so long. Thanks to Sam I was made aware of the situation between Carly and me. But really, why did she hate the two of us together? Was she looking out for Carly? I don't know. Carly never said anything to me that Sam had expressed the same concern to her. Or was it contempt for me and that me being happy was something she could not allow? Why would she do that? I know we have been on a rocky path throughout our friendship, but I would never intentionally hurt her. Yeah we argue and fight, but I would never try to make her feel like she was unwanted or will never be happy with someone. She wouldn't do that to me, would she?"

I pause before reading on and my smiles and happiness have left me. "He must really think I hated him that day in the hallway at school. Why couldn't he see I was only jealous and that I was concerned for him? Because I always act like he's a nub and a dork. God I am the worst friend ever. Not only did I hurt him, but likely Carly as well. Why didn't she say anything to me about this? I would have told her then."

With my eyes now beginning to water up, I continue reading.

Bacon Bits update 1: "I don't know what it is with Sam lately. Ever since Carly and I called it all off, well all except, of course, being the best of friends, Sam has actually been more cordial, albeit not to the point of being overly noticeable. She can stand to be in the same room alone with me and actually, she makes a point to say Hi. Even her names for me aren't as insulting either. Is she feeling guilty; does she want something?"

Bacon Bits update 2: "I am now completely over Carly and have found another to take up my day dreams. I know it is crazy, probably one of the last people anyone would think of for me to be feeling this way about"

I stop again and think out loud. "Who Freddie who? Who now do I have to sabotage your chances with?" I almost scream this with anger in my eyes.

Freddie/Carly POV

"What? sabotage?" We both shout at the same time, but with differing intent.

"I can't believe she would stoop to that. Doesn't she even care about our feelings?" Carly hisses. "How could…"

"Carly don't be upset." I cut her off. "You know as well as I that she does care about us, but she has to care about herself too. You and I are fully aware that we were never going to stay together."

"You're only sticking up for her now because you're in looove with her."

"May be. But you know it is true about us and her caring. Now let's just drop this, you knew this type stuff might come up and we agreed to take whatever was said without any emotions."

SAM POV

Okay on to number 3, Fried Chicken.

"It has been a month now since I realized that I am falling. Today she brushed up to me and while we didn't exactly hold hands, I felt such a rush that I froze on the spot. She gave the what's up with you look, but I couldn't respond. Later we were walking to class and she was so close we were rubbing shoulders. Does she feel the same? I can only hope so. Why can't I just tell her what goes through my head? Why can't I open up? Why am I afraid? Because I am scared to. What would she say; 'you have got to be kidding me, you, really. Never in a million years.' Man I wish I was fried chicken, I mean I have heard her say she loves fried chicken so often I really wish I was a big old fried chicken leg."

Now I am suspicious and wonder out loud. "No one else has such a love of fried chicken that speaks of _him_ that often. I don't see him spending much time with anyone but me and of course Carly in school. Could he be talking about me? If only he knew that he _is_ my fried chicken. I need to spill, but how, when, where?

Freddie/Carly POV

"Awwww you're her fried chicken"

"Well this is starting to go the way I planned although I didn't expect her to figure it out quite this quickly, but I forget this is Sam. She's pretty smart that way. Now I have to be ready, shes on to the last report." I typed in Sam's cell number and waited for just the right moment to hit send.

SAM POV

"What no update? There have been plenty of things he could have written in here. Well let's just see what Hammmmmm is all about."

All it says is go to the elevator, what? "Oh My God!" is all I can get out when the elevator door opens. As I look over there I see a table with a huge basket on it. I know now that I have been set up; that nub. My wonderful, sweet, thoughtful Nub comes to mind as I peer inside the basket. What do I see? Inside there is a bowl filled with meatballs, a large bag of crumbled bacon bits, a bucket of fried chicken legs, and right in the center, a complete ham. I almost fell over. Attached to the ham is a note that reads.

"Samantha I know ham is your favorite and I really want to be your ham. I have tried several times before to let you know how I feel so here it is, I really like you; will you go out with me? By the way your phone is ringing" and just as I finish reading that last sentence my phone rings. It is him and all I could think of to answer is… "It's about time you asked me out!"

I hear a squeal and as I turn toward the sound, the studio door opens and Carly runs over and almost knocks me down in the process of hugging me. "So you were in on this whole plot too?" I ask with a false air of anger. "Thank you, you're the best friend ever." I quickly add before she can think I am really upset.

"Don't mention it. This was all Fried Chicken's plan. He just let me in on it. Everything you heard, read and seen today was his doing. What a romantic?" She says and nudges me with her elbow.

"Carly would you give me a few minutes with Freddie please?"

"You got it" she says with a wink and a nod before closing the door behind her.

Before I turn to Freddie, I quickly fire down a meatball then run over to him and plant my smackers on his. As we let up, I ask "Is it like you remember?"

He looks deeply into my eyes and says "Far better than I remember and definitely worth the long wait, but lets not wait so long before we kiss again."

We didn't.


End file.
